Well, as any of you tried and true handmade business folks out there know, the reality didn't quite look like the dream. While I was toiling away at the day job I had painted such an overblown picture of what my life would look like when I finally got to work for myself full time that the let down was pretty severe. I had a long way to fall.
But here's the thing: (and one of those times where I see with hindsight that life really was watching out for me) I needed that dream, that rainbow filled sky of what my future would look like, in order to have the guts to leave my job. It was in part what propelled me forward and kept me focused on Tangleweeds even when things were growing at a snail's pace.
The first two years of running Tangleweeds full time were really rough. So many times I wished I was one of those people who had a viable career to "fall back on" or another latent passion to pursue. There were times when I simply wanted the rest of my life to quiet the fuck down so I could focus on Tangleweeds 24/7. And there were the other times when I wanted to set a match to Tangleweeds and never look back. No joke (just ask my boyfriend, he can testify to this ;-)
Eventually though, through hard work and learning the fine art of "letting go", things started to coalesce in such a way that I actually started to LOVE my work again. I never stopped loving it, I had just become so overwhelmed by the initial stages of the business that I had stopped feeling the love. Yes, I absolutely still work just as hard as I did when I first started Tangleweeds six and a half years ago, but I've become better adept at setting things aside for REAL days off. I've also better learned how to accept what I have to give. Period. Usually things don't quite turn out the way I expect, whether that's a craft fair I'm selling at, a blog post I'm writing, or a new piece of jewelry that I'm designing. That's part of the art of what I'm doing. I can see that now, but it was really hard to see in the beginning.
Coming full circle here, I was prompted to write this post because of what a good friend told me the other day while we were having coffee out in Jack London Square. She said that the advice that I gave in that original interview has really ben helping her as she sets out on a similar journey with her illustration business. She also said that she passed the advice along to a fellow creative, someone on their own self-employment path, and that it helped him during a difficult spot as well.
